tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3668264825522308366.post8072463024425539127..comments2014-01-01T10:51:38.009-05:00Comments on I after E: The Social SlugBridgethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17309126725316811313noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3668264825522308366.post-15302157543015404942012-09-09T23:22:41.952-04:002012-09-09T23:22:41.952-04:00Well, I'm with you on the crowd thing and I th...Well, I'm with you on the crowd thing and I think that is common to introverted people (as opposed to extroverted, those who LOVE to be around crowds). I just don't like to be overstimulated. Too much noise or things going on and I just want out. Not panic mind you, I just don't like it and try to avoid it. It is just my temperament. If I think some event might be interesting but crowded I don't go, etc.<br /><br />Anyway, let me tell you about my experience with my friend with breast cancer and how it relates to how you think people will react. I met a really fantastic lady at bible study and we became friends. She was in her mid-30's with a young daughter and I really liked her. A couple of years before I met her she had had a double mastectomy and reconstruction. I was unaware of this for awhile. <br /><br />Then one day she came over to my house and in conversation told me about it. She was surprised I did not know. The next couple of times I saw her I thought about it a lot when I saw her. Wow, how awful. She had had such radical surgery and radiation and hated the reconstruction, etc. I had to think of what I would have done if it was me, or how I would feel, etc. And yes, the next few times I saw her I thought about it briefly and we may have talked about things in her life still related to the fact she had had cancer - like having to go in for another scan, or physical problems related to the cancer, etc. But in general we just talked about anything and everything and had fun. <br /><br />After awhile I didn't think about it really. She was just my friend and this had happened to her, and she still had to deal with the ramifications of it and those things might or might not come up in conversation, but we would not dwell on it. I might comment or give advice if warranted, but really it was like any other problem someone might be dealing with. It was just part of life and being a friend. While I did not go through the pain she did, I could support her just as if any other of life problems would come up. And she would do the same for me. It's what girlfriends do. None if it is to be ashamed of, or worried about "labels" being placed on your head. Everyone has labels of different kinds on them.<br /><br />As you go through life some people will know and others won't, and there may be whispers but the whispers are not there to hurt you. Some may be gossiping, but others may be trying to deal with their own fears of a similar tragedy and that is normal, it is how we deal with life.<br /><br />Your baby's death was something so horrible, and we in our society are not really used to that anymore and are not prepared to deal with it. But if you go a few times to the park and playdates you and they will all loosen up and it will feel more comfortable.<br /><br />And you are right, God is with you to help you with the hard things in life. BUT He also gifts us with friends to help us on the way as well because He knows we need to talk and get a response. He knows we need those hugs, and that compassion, and that advice.<br /><br />So here.....I'm sending you some hugs and love and advice, and all the blessings I can muster. God bless!Marcy K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17472222489998267686noreply@blogger.com